Seventeen Years Later: Remembering Brett

Life Unfiltered

Jul 17

Written By Stacy Jo | The chick behind the words.🐥

My Brother who was killed by a drunk driver — A truly kind and compassionate person.

On July 17, 2009, just a few miles from his house on a hot summer afternoon, a drunk driver crashed into my brother Brett’s car head-on while he was on his way to pick up his son from vacation Bible school. The accident was sudden and terrible, and nothing made sense. I couldn’t imagine ever moving from shock to grief, but I did. I was heartbroken. Brett was only thirty-seven. The world lost someone truly kind and compassionate, and I know the more than 300 people at his funeral would agree.
It's been17 years today; it’s hard for me to believe. Each year, I look for new ways to keep his smart, funny, devoted personality alive for my family, Brett’s family, and our parents. When we take out Christmas ornaments to decorate our tree, he’s with us. I wear my locket with his picture to celebrations, or when I feel like I need my brother with me in my corner, he is next to my heart. My sister-in-law, mother, and I enjoy pictures of him sprinkled among every other family member.

Half of the picture is missing.
I feel like the special moments from our childhood and the little things we only **understood as siblings** are gone. Half of the picture is missing.
One of my favorite childhood memories is playing in the cool creek behind our house, which eventually flows into the Chattahoochee River. My younger brother Brett and I spent every day of summer there. Even though the creek was small, the shade from the dogwood tree made it feel like our secret fort. We would turn over smooth rocks to find crawdads and salamanders, collecting them in a plastic bucket while the water splashed around our feet. We used our imagination to make a pretend front door and a fire for cooking, enjoying a sense of freedom that felt like our own world.—from Chattahoochee River blog post

Honoring my brother’s smile in 15 countries.

I’ve gone to family events where he should have been, too. Standing next to him, I would have smiled at his sarcastic sense of humor. Actually, all three of my children would have smirked in amusement at a comment from their Uncle Brett. Brett had a great smile, sense of humor and took time to use that humor at work and with friend. (See below) Even if he’s not at an event, his legacy might be there. His brilliant son is getting his doctorate!

I’ve found my own ways to honor Brett. One was almost subconscious. “An Angel Takes Wing,” an encaustic artwork of mine, began in one direction and ended up resembling features reminding everyone in our family of Brett. I smile when I look at that artwork. Also, my husband and I have lit candles in churches, cathedrals, and temples all over the world in honor of my brother. It is our ritual and it now includes Grayson and Judd, cherished family members who have passed away. I believe our last count was fifteen countries! Even though the candles are not lit at the same time, I close my eyes and envision them all lighting up around the Earth. When they illuminate the darkness, I feel closer to Brett. We’re celebrating the life of a shy blond-haired boy who loved playing in creeks, and the man who loved being a husband and father, and who set an example for our community.