Grayson’s Kindness and Contagious Smile
Our nephew, Grayson, tragically passed away in a car accident.
His sudden and shocking passing four years ago left our entire family devastated and feeling helpless. These anniversaries are never easy.
He was a talented artist and cyclist who had won several medals. Grayson was very close to his family and always greeted everyone with a warm smile. He truly embodied the values of respect, humility, and kindness.
Grayson's accident brings back painful memories, reminding me of my brother Brett's car accident and his early death. I think back to the happy times with Brett, as kids catching salamanders in our backyard, and then I blinked and was in Brett's wedding. Grayson, unfortunately, never even had the chance to finish school. His mother, Jenny, is a wonderful mom. With her loving guidance, her sons grew into strong and confident individuals with plans for their lives. It feels so unfair that Grayson was taken from us when he had already accomplished so much and had many more goals ahead of him.
I often think about Andrew, Grayson’s older brother. Andrew and Grayson were close in age, much like Brett and I were. Now Andrew and I have experienced the sudden loss of our younger brothers, who were our only siblings.
“When a parent dies, you lose the past. When a child dies, you lose the future. When a sibling dies, you lose the past and the future.”
This quote resonates deeply with me, but I still struggle to find the right words to comfort Andrew. He is in a unique position, grappling with the loss of their shared history and a future that would have included Grayson in countless moments. Andrew is a sensitive and caring person who honors his brother. I can see that he is acknowledging this pain, and I hope he knows I understand and support him in any way I can.
While grieving, I find solace in reading Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden. For some, this poem is a bit dramatic; however, it expresses my feelings of the loss of both Grayson and Brett. In keeping with the lines "The stars are not wanted now; put out everyone," we decided not to decorate our Christmas tree the year Grayson died. It just didn’t feel right. The holiday season, once so beautiful, now feels bittersweet, much like the precious memories and emotions that accompany Grayson's profound loss.
St. Lambert Basilica in Düsseldorf (left) and in Cologne Cathedral, Germany.
Everyone remembers their loved ones in their own way. For the past fifteen years, my husband and I have honored my brother Brett’s memory by lighting a candle for him whenever we travel. We have lit candles in fifteen countries, in churches, cathedrals, and temples. Recently, we lit candles at the magnificent St. Lambert Basilica in Düsseldorf (pictured) and at Cologne Cathedral in Germany. Now, in addition to Brett, we light candles for Grayson and my cousin, Judd, both of whom were remarkable individuals.
